were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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