ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.