Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
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Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
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I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong