weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.