..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we're making bets on your personal life
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.