I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
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Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
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yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.