and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
