No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
