evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
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I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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