he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
