she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
