i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
