he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
