Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i need an iv and a liver transplant
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
