I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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