Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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