We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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