Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize