umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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