wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Who wears a wallet chain?!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
