im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
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he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
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Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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