no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
