wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say