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• (714): View more from California

  I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (831): View more from California

  i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.

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• (831): View more from California

  Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (415): View more from California

  White people are beatboxing! Save me.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids

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