im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
