The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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