Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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