You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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