I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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