Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
