Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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