I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize