can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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