im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
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