Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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