I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
