Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
