Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
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idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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