So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
