Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize