I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
