i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize