Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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