just survived the first fart of the relationship.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
