Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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