We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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