sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
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quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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