Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
