I forgot how hot balto sounded
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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