They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize