i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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