guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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