how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
