Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize