that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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