My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize